My top 5 baby items worth buying for your newborn

When I was pregnant I was wondering what to buy for our new baby so that we wouldn't be missing anything the day he comes home. We ended up buyng enormous amount of stuff, some of which we never used. That's why I want to list here the things that I actually considered the most useful for us, hoping to be able to give some directions to new parents. I will not mention for now cot, stroller and changing table, same as diapers and baby cosmetics because I assume that they are the mandatory stuff all parents buy. Instead I will list items about which people most probably might not think.

1. A good automatic breastpump (if you wish to breastfeed your baby).

This is for sure our best investment (or maybe the second best after the stroller), even though I didn't use it as much as I expected. A good pump is necessary for two reasons: if the mother has too much breastmilk it is good to extract some of the leftover milk after the baby has been fed and that way to prevent issues like clogged channels or even mastitis.

If the mother has too little breastmilk, pumping often might stimulate the milk production. 

There are different kinds of breastpumps on the market. My recommendation is not to save money on this item because a good breastpump could save many problems and most probably will help the milk supply to be maintained in good levels. Automatic is always better because if you have to pump often with a manual pumt, it becomes a very tireding excercise.

2. A good sling or a baby carrier (suitable from birth).

I read a lot of reviews of such items before giving birth but I ended up not buying one. Eventually I received two used carriers as gifts (thank you, my dear friends!), but they were not very suitable for my baby. He is now way too heavy for me to be able to carry him more than 10 minutes without having a strong pain in my back. Also I suspect that these carriers are made for babies smaller than my son's current size...  Or at least that's my impression because I didn't find any instructions and description for them.

I recommend the carrier or sling to be bought right after the baby is born (or a month later). Ideally the mother can go to the store and try it out together with her little baby in order to understand if it is confortable for both of them. If you decide to buy a sling, consider getting one with both standing and sitting position because as the baby grows, he/she wants more and more to stay in a vertical position. This is my biggest challenge now because my baby loves staying in a carrier but I just can't bear it any more for a long time.

Some people say that their babies don't like slings or carriers. I believe that with most babies this wouldn't be a problem if the mother starts using such item the earliest possible. But probably there are diferent cases so it is also a good idea if you can buy the sling with a possibility to be returned within a month or so, in case you don't like it.

3. Elastic baby clothes

By elastic I mean such clothes that can strech. Consider buying mainly stretchy clothes in the first year of your child. They have two advantages: 1. It is easier to put them on a constantly moving and not colaborating baby; 2. As the baby grows very fast in the first months, the clothes that are stretchy last longer because they often fit even if the kid is already big for the relevant size. I didn't consider this and bought many not elastic clothes which ended up to be the ones used less time.

4. Bathing net

There are nets which can be attached to the baby bath tub in a way that the baby is swinging over the bath tub without touching the water. The net is used before the baby manages to sit. This item is especially useful if only one person has ro bath the baby (but I have to admit I haven't done it alone) because there is no need to hold him/her with one hand all the time. The only disadvantage of this net is that the baby is not in the water and can get cold. To avoid this the parents have to pour water on top of the baby all the time. Nevertheless the net was one of the most useful things we bought (and probably one of the cheapest :))

5. More drawers

If all your drawers are almost full before the baby is born, consider buying at least one new piece of furniture with at least 3-4 extra drawers. The little new person in your life is tiny but his/her belongings are increasing progressively. There are many items that won't be used any more within only 3 months from the birth and even if you decide to give them away you might have to keep them for some extra days or weeks. In the meantime new things are being bought... Well, 4 new drawers are tottaly not enough, at least they were not for us.

What are your top 5 most useful baby items?

What I have learned by myself as a new mom

When a woman becomes a mother for the first time a complete new world is opening in front of her. This is even more valid for carreer driven women who didn't have many interactions with little kids until giving birth. Even if the new mother gets a lot of help in the first months, she might still feel lost just because what is hapenning is a huge life change. It appears that even the best thing in the world can make you feel not in your best... But the difficult times are temporary!

Before giving birth I researched lots of information. I went to parenting schools and I talked to friends who were already mothers. I read different books and magazines about motherhood, I signed in maternity newsletters. Still I wasn't prepared for what followed after I brought home my bundle of joy. Even with all this information the first few months were really challenging for me. 

Here I am going to list few things that learned by myself as a new mother. I hope they would be helpful for other inexperienced moms. I keep learning, so I am planning to continue the list in another post within some time.

1. Starting with the basics: Do what you believe is best for you and your child. 

There are many parenting methods and opinions, some of them very contradictory. Some people believe in the strict schedule from day one, others are into attachment parenting. Some mothers want the baby to sleep in their bed, others prefer to put it immediatelly in a separate room... I guess none of these are wrong, it is just about how the parents would feel right.

Make sure you find a pediatrician who's methods are not contradicting to your opinions. Listen to the advises of your friends and relatives but don't folow them if you disagree. 

2. Things are not under control and this is perfectly normal. 

It is still a big challenge for me to live with this. Because - let's face it - things in life have never been under control, but when kids come to your life than you realise how true is this statement. The first weeks after the baby is born the parents can't even plan what to have for dinner. This is ok, you say, but next thing is that your plans about the daily routine of the baby are also ruined: you can't bring him/her out because it is raining (and the daily walk is so important, as the doctor said!); you don't manage to give him/her a bath because your husband gets home too late from work... Daily "fails" like these can make the mother think that she is useless. But let's be realistic - is it so immportant for the overall development of the baby if a bath has been missed? I don't think so.

3. I am a mother, not a superhero! 

Before giving birth I believed that when you become a mother you get some kind of "superpower" which keeps you perfectly fresh and organised even after several speepless nights around the crying baby... I believed I could manage to take care of my baby alone, only with a little help from the father (after he comes home from work). But I was shocked to find out after the birth that for me the situation was completely the opposite. I was exhausted, not able to concentrate and I was feeling like even the smallest thing that I had to do was requiring tremendous efforts from my side. I got all the possible help during the day but I was still exhausted because I couldn't manage to sleep enough. One week after the baby was born I started having crazy migraines which were making me stay in bed for whole days (and someone else had to take care about my child at this time). I tottaly wasn't able to handle the situation by myself and this made me feel like a failure as a mother.

It took me months to put myself into some kind of normality and to be relatively selfsufficient around my baby. I finally realised that I should forget any expectations that I have had previously and I stopped judjing what kind of mother I am by how much help I need. In magazines I still find articles about "the power of the mother", "all mothers are supermoms", etc. but I don't believe them anymore. People are different so each woman needs different amount of time to adjust to the new situation and to feel secure about handling her new baby. It is not a failure to ask for help!

4. Some mothers worry more, others worry less... but they all worry!

A friend of mine once said: from the moment when a woman sees two stripes on the pregnancy test, she won't have any more a single day without worries about her child. Every day I am realising how true is that statement. Sometimes when I have really big "worry attacks" I ask other mothers if they worry as well. I always received positive answers with examples of worries which I could never imagine. For me they key not to get crazy into worrying is to do more outdoor activities, to meet more people, to keep myself busy with different tasks and to read interesting books whenever you have time for that :)

These are probably the most important things I learned in the first 4-5 months. I am sure there is much more to learn in the future :)